Emotional Abuse Recovery NOW

Why working at your relationship doesn’t work

Have you worked hard at your relationship?

I bet you have.

If you are anything like most abused women, you’ve worked your socks off to make your relationship work. That’s part of the job description: abused women toil tirelessly to keep their relationship alive. You couldn’t possibly pay someone enough to put in the time and the trouble that abused women sacrifice, for absolutely nothing.

Of course, it doesn’t work.

An abusive relationship is a relationship that is dead in the water.

Still, from time to time, the abusive partner will give a kind of ‘dead cat bounce’. Momentarily, he will show signs of the appeal he showed in the early days. This is enough for the abused partner to delude herself that with enough intensive care, from her, the relationship can be resuscitated.

It won’t happen. The damage is irreversible.

But try telling that to an abused woman.

We’ve all heard the phrase: “You have to work at your relationship”, and we followed it hook, line and sinker.

Finally, I realized that it is a statement, which has no merit, made by moderately unhappy people to others less fortunate than themselves.

What makes me so certain?

Think about it for a moment. Nobody works harder at relationships than an abused woman. And the more she works at it, the worse the relationship gets.

Why?

Well, obviously, the harder she works at her relationship, the less accountable her partner feels for his behaviours. If she is happy to shoulder the load, do you think that he is going to stop her? Hardly.

More importantly, ‘work’ is a substitute, actually a very poor substitute, for thought. If you only stopped to think long enough to see the big picture, you would soon find a better outlet for your energy.

It’s a little like being a miner, working down a very deep mine. Because you don’t find what you are digging for, what do you do? You keep digging, more and more manically. And still you find nothing. If, quite literally, you came up for air and talked to other people, you might discover that the seam had been exhausted.

‘Working’ at a relationship is a guarantee of nothing but your effort. Nobody ever promised that your work would be requited. But, somehow, inside your own head, you came to believe that if you put 10,000 hours, or 20,000, or 50,000 hours, ‘hard work’ into your marriage, it would finally pay dividends.

Your abusive relationship is the ultimate proof that working at it doesn't work. Quite the reverse: too much hard work on the part of one partner allows a bad relationship to become even worse.

So, am I saying that it is wrong to work at relationships?

Yes, I am.

Work is not necessarily the same as committing to your relationship, investing in your relationship and nurturing your relationship.

But here’s the thing: you can only do that if you are in a relationship. If your ‘partner’ is not prepared to commit, nurture and invest consistently in the relationship, then you don’t have a relationship.

If he plays the ‘break up game’ on a regular basis, launches regular attacks on your self-worth, and trashes the ‘relationship’, then you don’t have a relationship.

All you have is a threadbare fantasy.

One partner, you, ‘working’ at it, won’t change that.

If you would only invest, in yourself, the energy and persistence you squander on a moribund relationship and an unworthy object, have you any idea of what you could achieve, for yourself?

But don’t take my word for it. Dare to try it for yourself, and you will be amazed.

NOW 1-2-1 Telephone Coaching With Annie

“My counsellor has been telling me for months that I don’t listen to her. But when you say something, Annie, I hear it.” Mimi P.

You don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to get your head together when you’ve been in an abusive relationship. Like me, you've been there. You know. Like me, you know what time can and cannot do. You know, by now, that your demons, and his, are always there, waiting for you in the shadows.

Some days you feel motivated to keep going and other days you’d be happy to give up and settle for a single crumb of affection from him.

You can waste months and years going through the same old pattern of hope and despair; as if you hadn’t wasted enough time on him already.

That’s when telephone coaching can really help.

Imagine having someone at the other end of the phone who:

understands exactly what you are going through
is totally focused on your recovery
has successfully helped hundreds of women in your situation
believes totally in your ability to move on
knows from experience that, given the right support, it will be way easier than you think to heal your life
really cares about your present pain and future happiness

“That’s all well and good, but I can’t commit to any long, slow process, Annie.”

Coaching is quick and effective.

Coaching will stop you going round and round the same old loop and start thinking constructively so you can feel good about yourself and your life.

You know how you stopped believing in Father Christmas once you were told he didn’t exist?

Well, once you have been told who your abusive partner really is, you won’t be able to believe all the lies he told you any more. Which will leave you free to put the pieces of your life back together again.

So you can get your life back, only much, much better.

Because everybody has different learning styles, Annie offers 30 minute and 60 minute telephone consultations at reasonable rates.

Whether you have 1 consultation or several is entirely up to you, but expect coaching to make a big difference.

Secure your first consultation NOW.

Get the support you need to change your life NOW.

“What will it cost me, Annie?”

"I could easily have charged $300 for an hour of my time. I usually do. But I wanted to make this service accessible to as many women as possible. So, for now, I'm charging the rock bottom price of just $50 for a 30 minute coaching consultation, or $100 for a full 60 minutes."

CLICK HERE to book a 30 minute coaching consultation.

CLICK HERE to book a 60 minute coaching consultation

How much is that when you focus on the weeks and months by which it will shorten your learning curve get rid of the pain and the obsession about an abusive partner and jump start your enjoyment of life?

If you don't take action now, your life won't change. But if you do, just 2 or 3 months from now, you can be that woman saying: "It's amazing. I've come so far and I feel so much better."

Your recovery can be fast, easy and joyful.

Is that something that you want for yourself?

Because if it is, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

So book your first consultation NOW!

BUY THE E-BOOK

"This is the most valuable recovery tool I have used. I am beginning to believe recovery is possible. Thanks." KAF

When I finally ended my marriage, the question that obsessed me was: “How do I heal from this?” After 20+ years in an abusive marriage, I'd had it with struggling with despair, sorrow, anger and pain. I wanted a life worth living.

I wanted to be emotionally whole and healthy. But I didn’t know where to start. So I did everything I could. I tried psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, group counselling. I read about abuse and talked about abuse. It all helped and I’m grateful to everyone and everything that helped move me along.

The knowledge I acquired was valuable, no doubt about it. But the one thing that enabled me to make the shift out of that dark world of fear and desperation was learning to believe in me again. The more I started to value and respect myself, the easier it became to move on.

Learning how you can rebuild your confidence and faith in yourself is the most healing journey you can possibly take. Your world starts to change the moment the moment your feelings about yourself start to change.

The more you value yourself, the more others will value you. My ebook will show you how to do that.

Everything I know about how to make that journey into healing and happiness has gone into my ebook “The Woman You Want To Be”.

It’s not a “quick fix”. When you are at rock bottom, there is no such thing as a "quick fix". What it is, is a structured programme that will guide you back to your inner joy, your gifts and a strong sense of your unique worth. It's not a "quick fix", but most women start to feel stronger and more positive within weeks.

Over the course of nearly a year, “The Woman You Want To Be” will guide you out of your limiting, negative thinking and into a new perspective on yourself and your world. You'll learn how you can access your strengths, your trust in yourself and your joy so that you won't have to live any more amid the rubble of broken dreams. Instead you can build the world for yourself in which you can enjoy happiness, true connection with others and thesuccess you want for yourself.

This 10 step workbook is a vital resource for women who want to discover their true potential in all areas of their life. It will teach you how you can believe in and value yourself as never before.

To purchase Annie’s ebook, go to: www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com

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