Emotional Abuse Recovery NOW

What you learn in an abusive relationship

What did you learn in your abusive relationship?

You learned, doubtless, that:

The world was not safe
You would never be good enough, or lovable enough
Your judgment would always, always, be wrong

There is little doubt that you experienced much, much more as well. Equally, the chances are that you did not learn the lessons, or at least the most useful lessons, from what you experienced. Because you were brainwashed to believe that your judgment was always wrong.

For now, I’d like you to focus on the curious way in which one thing comes to mean something quite different in an abusive relationship. It’s something I’ve become increasingly aware of in the past few weeks, as I have caught myself behaving oddly.

For the last few weeks an Italian painter friend and his lovely wife have been staying with me. They are two of the people I love most in the world. They are pretty fond of me, too. However, I discovered that I had an enormous block about letting them into my private office, because it currently looks like a bomb has hit it. (A bomb has: clearing a room for my houseguests’ 3 week stay meant that the room’s habitual contents would have to turn up somewhere else.)

My reluctance to let my friends into this bombsite went very deep. I found myself mentally squirming with embarrassment. Finally, I made sense of what was really going on. At bottom, my thinking ran like this: if my friends saw my private mess, they would immediately withdraw their affection from me.

I wonder where I learned that one.

Actually, I don’t. I don’t suppose you do either. One of the features of an abusive relationship is how incredibly conditional it is: you only have to do one thing ‘wrong’, and you are labelled vile and loathsome. So having, say, a messy office does not mean that you have an untidy office. Instead it means that you are unworthy of love and consideration because you have an untidy office.

In NLP terms this phenomenon goes by the name of ‘complex equivalents’. Isn’t it a great definition. Abusive men are past masters of complex ‘equivalents’. This is why, not to put too fine a point on it, abusive men act like ‘hanging judges’.

In the abuser’s crazy world of ‘complex equivalents’, there is no such thing as a minor fault or flaw. That is why abused women become very, very fearful; and that fear extends out to the world at large.

Just today, I caught a snatch of Melissa Etheridge’s “A Simple Love” on the radio. The lyrics, which are pretty simple in their own right, go like this:

“It’s a simple love
That holds us together
It’s a simple love
That sets us free
…
It’s a simple love
Between you and me”

Now, there’s a revelation; a simple love! One thing you will never learn in an abusive relationship, is how a relationship can be simple and loving, and satisfying.

Of course, an abusive man will never tell you that because he simply doesn’t know. More importantly, he doesn't care. His power over you depends on sucking you into the labyrinth of his moods and demands. Your fearfulness perpetuates his power over you.

NOW 1-2-1 Telephone Coaching With Annie

“My counsellor has been telling me for months that I don’t listen to her. But when you say something, Annie, I hear it.” Mimi P.

You don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to get your head together when you’ve been in an abusive relationship. Like me, you've been there. You know. Like me, you know what time can and cannot do. You know, by now, that your demons, and his, are always there, waiting for you in the shadows.

Some days you feel motivated to keep going and other days you’d be happy to give up and settle for a single crumb of affection from him.

You can waste months and years going through the same old pattern of hope and despair; as if you hadn’t wasted enough time on him already.

That’s when telephone coaching can really help.

Imagine having someone at the other end of the phone who:

understands exactly what you are going through
is totally focused on your recovery
has successfully helped hundreds of women in your situation
believes totally in your ability to move on
knows from experience that, given the right support, it will be way easier than you think to heal your life
really cares about your present pain and future happiness

“That’s all well and good, but I can’t commit to any long, slow process, Annie.”

Coaching is quick and effective.

Coaching will stop you going round and round the same old loop and start thinking constructively so you can feel good about yourself and your life.

You know how you stopped believing in Father Christmas once you were told he didn’t exist?

Well, once you have been told who your abusive partner really is, you won’t be able to believe all the lies he told you any more. Which will leave you free to put the pieces of your life back together again.

So you can get your life back, only much, much better.

Because everybody has different learning styles, Annie offers 30 minute and 60 minute telephone consultations at reasonable rates.

Whether you have 1 consultation or several is entirely up to you, but expect coaching to make a big difference.

Secure your first consultation NOW.

Get the support you need to change your life NOW.

“What will it cost me, Annie?”

"I could easily have charged $300 for an hour of my time. I usually do. But I wanted to make this service accessible to as many women as possible. So, for now, I'm charging the rock bottom price of just $50 for a 30 minute coaching consultation, or $100 for a full 60 minutes."

CLICK HERE to book a 30 minute coaching consultation.

CLICK HERE to book a 60 minute coaching consultation

How much is that when you focus on the weeks and months by which it will shorten your learning curve get rid of the pain and the obsession about an abusive partner and jump start your enjoyment of life?

If you don't take action now, your life won't change. But if you do, just 2 or 3 months from now, you can be that woman saying: "It's amazing. I've come so far and I feel so much better."

Your recovery can be fast, easy and joyful.

Is that something that you want for yourself?

Because if it is, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

So book your first consultation NOW!

BUY THE E-BOOK

"This is the most valuable recovery tool I have used. I am beginning to believe recovery is possible. Thanks." KAF

When I finally ended my marriage, the question that obsessed me was: “How do I heal from this?” After 20+ years in an abusive marriage, I'd had it with struggling with despair, sorrow, anger and pain. I wanted a life worth living.

I wanted to be emotionally whole and healthy. But I didn’t know where to start. So I did everything I could. I tried psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, group counselling. I read about abuse and talked about abuse. It all helped and I’m grateful to everyone and everything that helped move me along.

The knowledge I acquired was valuable, no doubt about it. But the one thing that enabled me to make the shift out of that dark world of fear and desperation was learning to believe in me again. The more I started to value and respect myself, the easier it became to move on.

Learning how you can rebuild your confidence and faith in yourself is the most healing journey you can possibly take. Your world starts to change the moment the moment your feelings about yourself start to change.

The more you value yourself, the more others will value you. My ebook will show you how to do that.

Everything I know about how to make that journey into healing and happiness has gone into my ebook “The Woman You Want To Be”.

It’s not a “quick fix”. When you are at rock bottom, there is no such thing as a "quick fix". What it is, is a structured programme that will guide you back to your inner joy, your gifts and a strong sense of your unique worth. It's not a "quick fix", but most women start to feel stronger and more positive within weeks.

Over the course of nearly a year, “The Woman You Want To Be” will guide you out of your limiting, negative thinking and into a new perspective on yourself and your world. You'll learn how you can access your strengths, your trust in yourself and your joy so that you won't have to live any more amid the rubble of broken dreams. Instead you can build the world for yourself in which you can enjoy happiness, true connection with others and thesuccess you want for yourself.

This 10 step workbook is a vital resource for women who want to discover their true potential in all areas of their life. It will teach you how you can believe in and value yourself as never before.

To purchase Annie’s ebook, go to: www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com

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