Emotional Abuse Recovery NOW
Are You an Emotionally Abused Woman Who Is SICK and TIRED
of the Misery of an
Are you READY
to start your emotional
abuse recovery NOW?
“What seeds have
you planted beneath the snow?”
This week I did something I had not done before in the real world: I shared the truth about my abusive marriage with a man.
Well, I say ‘shared’, and so it was meant to be. It ended up being rather more of a ‘dump’. Maybe I should specify that I didn’t share the whole 20+ years in glorious Technicolor, but I did divulge my truth about those years. (It took about 15-20 minutes.)
And the lesson I learned from it? The lesson was undoubtedly that you really don’t want to visit too much information on a man too soon if you want him to stick around.
(From that point of view it was a fascinating process. It seems to work like this: give a man a couple of pieces of information he finds hard to process and he will rapidly stop listening to you. Instead he creates his own narrative, which may well be very far removed from anything you happen to be saying or attempting to convey.)
So what was the purpose of my doing that?
Ah, the purpose was very different. I did so because I had become aware that the fear and shame that grew out of my abusive relationship were still ‘drivers’ in my life. And I wanted to clear them.
Somehow, I knew that in order to clear them there were things that I needed to say out loud, to hear myself say and, ultimately, to bounce off a man. Had he been able to truly hear me that would have been splendid. And surprising.
As it turned out, he couldn’t and it really didn’t matter. Because I heard me.
He didn’t hear the courage and he certainly didn’t get the point of what I was doing. He couldn’t understand why feeling emotionally safe was vitally important to me and he couldn’t understand how important it was for me to liberate myself from the shame that had silenced my voice for years and years.
(All he could understand was that our experience of relationships was different. Well, yes. And that I didn’t share his belief that doing a relationship is as easy as falling off a log. And he was acting like I was from planet Zog.)
Let me specify, having spent years thinking about relationships and working with people, particularly women, around relationships, I believe that there is a skill to creating and conducting a successful relationship.
Heaven knows it’s easy to fall into a relationship and there is a natural feel-good factor to new relationships that can tend to last around 2 years – always assuming that you haven’t stumbled upon an A1 abuser. But then the stardust disappears and the relationship will only work as well as you and your partner can make it work. Unless you are both still concussed from falling off that log.)
So much for the theory. The man in question, being a true man, didn’t ‘do’ theory. I’m happy to acknowledge that and thank him for his part in my process.
He is by no means a bad man, not out for power and control. Still he took refuge behind the serried mythological ranks of ‘most men’. ‘Most men’ would not have been able to take on board what I was saying. ‘Most men’ would not accept my views about relationships. ‘Most men’…
Once upon a time that ‘most men’ rhetoric would have left me feeling diminished and inadequate. But no more.
I am not ‘most women’ and I don’t want ‘most men’. ‘Most women’ and ‘most men’ are lowest common denominators.
I have not survived all that I have to settle for being a shadow of who I truly am, or to settle for the lowest common denominator. I don’t believe that you have either.
You may or may not be as far along your journey as I am, yet. But this is the direction in which you are heading. You’ve done misery, humiliation, pain and shame and you know it doesn’t work for you.
The stumbling block for you right now, may be where you find all the resources that you need within yourself. I can’t tell you exactly where, or when, you will find them, but I know that you will. I see it in myself and I see it, again and again, in the women I work with.
For the longest time or, certainly, what feels like the longest time, those resources are not there. And then one day they are.
How does it happen?
For me, it is all about the seeds planted beneath the snow. Somehow, even in your darkest hours, you have been planting those seeds. You plant seeds:
· whenever you take the time to read something like this
· whenever you affirm what it is you want more of in your life
· whenever you take a step forward, however tiny it is, however fearfully you take it.
The chances of seeing results fast are small. Not least because you focus more on sameness and your shortcomings than you do on difference. But you will see results. Just do what you can, when you can, from where you are and you will see results. It is an inevitable part of the process of life and change. Only truly set your course and it must take you in that direction.
And if you are committed to speeding up that process, think seriously about working with someone, like me, who understands and is committed to your healing.
NOW 1-2-1 Telephone Coaching With Annie
You don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to get your head together when you’ve been in an abusive relationship. Like me, you've been there. You know. Like me, you know what time can and cannot do. You know, by now, that your demons, and his, are always there, waiting for you in the shadows.
Some days you feel motivated to keep going and other days you’d be happy to give up and settle for a single crumb of affection from him.
You can waste months and years going through the same old pattern of hope and despair; as if you hadn’t wasted enough time on him already.
That’s when telephone coaching can really help.
Imagine having someone at the other end of the phone who:
“That’s all well and good, but I can’t commit to any long, slow process, Annie.”
Coaching is quick and effective.
Coaching will stop you going round and round the same old loop and start thinking constructively so you can feel good about yourself and your life.
You know how you stopped believing in Father Christmas once you were told he didn’t exist?
Well, once you have been told who your abusive partner really is, you won’t be able to believe all the lies he told you any more. Which will leave you free to put the pieces of your life back together again.
So you can get your life back, only much, much better.
Because everybody has different learning styles, Annie offers 30 minute and 60 minute telephone consultations at reasonable rates.
Whether you have 1 consultation or several is entirely up to you, but expect coaching to make a big difference.
Secure your first consultation NOW.
Get the support you need to change your life NOW.
“What will it cost me, Annie?”
"I could easily have charged $300 for an hour of my time. I usually do. But I wanted to make this service accessible to as many women as possible. So, for now, I'm charging the rock bottom price of just $50 for a 30 minute coaching consultation, or $100 for a full 60 minutes."
CLICK HERE to book a 30 minute coaching consultation.
CLICK HERE to book a 60 minute coaching consultation
How much is that when you focus on the weeks and months by which it will shorten your learning curve get rid of the pain and the obsession about an abusive partner and jump start your enjoyment of life?
If you don't take action now, your life won't change. But if you do, just 2 or 3 months from now, you can be that woman saying: "It's amazing. I've come so far and I feel so much better."
Your recovery can be fast, easy and joyful.
Is that something that you want for yourself?
Because if it is, I'm really looking forward to working with you.
So book your first consultation NOW!
The more you value yourself, the more
others will value you. My ebook will show you how to do that.
It’s not a “quick
fix”. When you are at rock bottom, there is no such thing as a
"quick fix". What it is, is a structured programme that will guide
you back to your
inner joy, your gifts and a strong sense of your unique worth.
It's not a "quick fix", but most women start to feel stronger and
more positive within weeks.
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