Emotional Abuse Recovery NOW

“If you love someone, you will insist on retaining your own personal power”

Michael Korda wrote: "All of life is a game of power. The object of the game is simple enough: to know what you want and get it. The moves of the game, by contrast, are infinite and complex."

Abusive relationships are relationships in which the controlling partner creates an illusory sense of self-esteem by disempowering his (her) prey.

Abusive relationships are very much about power and control.

It’s enough to give power a bad name.

But let’s look a little more deeply at this.

Abused women, or women who end up as victims of an abuser, have an immense drive to be loved. “Normal enough”, you might say. Yes, it is a normal and powerful drive. But here’s the thing:

Abused women are willing to make whatever trade-off they think necessary in order to be loved.

Now, that may even sound reasonable until you start to think about it. At bottom, it is a far from reasonable premise. It presupposes that you have to do stuff in order to be loved. (In other words, just being is not enough.)

Years ago, I remember feeling amused and aghast in equal measure at lyrics from the 1933 musical, "Roman Scandals" that went like this:

“Keep young and beautiful,
It’s your duty to be beautiful.
Keep young and beautiful,
If you want to be loved.”

In other words, the onus for being lovable sits entirely on your shoulders.

Interesting isn’t it? There’s nothing there about another person’s capacity to love, or the fact that you are naturally worthy and lovable.

The song implies that there is a direct correlation between how much of an effort you make and how lovable you are. That is a toxic belief.

You don’t see babies or puppies having to make an effort in order to be lovable. They are inherently lovable, and at some level they probably know it. If they are not loved, that failure lies with the people around them, not with them. And so it is with adults also, if we only truly believe it.

Of course, abused women don’t believe that. On the one hand, we try desperately, excessively, hard to be lovable. On the other, we get so tired of striving for that pay-off we want so much that there is a huge temptation to emulate my little dog and, metaphorically, roll over with our paws in the air and surrender. My little dog just wants to get her tummy stroked; we just want to get to ‘the good bits’ of harmony and oneness, when we can feel loved and made a fuss of.

How easy is it to surrender our personal power in the hope of getting the pay-off we so desperately want?

We will let down boundaries, tolerate bad behaviours, ignore the writing on the wall, silence our intuition… You name it, we have all done it. And it doesn’t work. It may be less trouble in the short run, but it definitely compounds our misery in the longer term. It prolongs the relationship, and it certainly ensures that the relationship is based on conditions that are increasingly unfavourable to us.

I made a vow to myself, and my daughter (it pays to hold yourself accountable) that I would never go there again. It isn’t always easy - habit doesn’t go quietly - but it is worthwhile. As you perceive yourself, so you will be perceived. You will be held by others in the same regard in which you hold yourself.

Maybe it requires a fair degree of energy to set up a relationship on sound, healthy criteria and to ring-fence your personal power. But it offers the best guarantee of creating something worth having.

You are deserving of the very best that is available. How about you start to believe that right now, rather than later.

NOW 1-2-1 Telephone Coaching With Annie

“My counsellor has been telling me for months that I don’t listen to her. But when you say something, Annie, I hear it.” Mimi P.

You don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to get your head together when you’ve been in an abusive relationship. Like me, you've been there. You know. Like me, you know what time can and cannot do. You know, by now, that your demons, and his, are always there, waiting for you in the shadows.

Some days you feel motivated to keep going and other days you’d be happy to give up and settle for a single crumb of affection from him.

You can waste months and years going through the same old pattern of hope and despair; as if you hadn’t wasted enough time on him already.

That’s when telephone coaching can really help.

Imagine having someone at the other end of the phone who:

understands exactly what you are going through
is totally focused on your recovery
has successfully helped hundreds of women in your situation
believes totally in your ability to move on
knows from experience that, given the right support, it will be way easier than you think to heal your life
really cares about your present pain and future happiness

“That’s all well and good, but I can’t commit to any long, slow process, Annie.”

Coaching is quick and effective.

Coaching will stop you going round and round the same old loop and start thinking constructively so you can feel good about yourself and your life.

You know how you stopped believing in Father Christmas once you were told he didn’t exist?

Well, once you have been told who your abusive partner really is, you won’t be able to believe all the lies he told you any more. Which will leave you free to put the pieces of your life back together again.

So you can get your life back, only much, much better.

Because everybody has different learning styles, Annie offers 30 minute and 60 minute telephone consultations at reasonable rates.

Whether you have 1 consultation or several is entirely up to you, but expect coaching to make a big difference.

Secure your first consultation NOW.

Get the support you need to change your life NOW.

“What will it cost me, Annie?”

"I could easily have charged $300 for an hour of my time. I usually do. But I wanted to make this service accessible to as many women as possible. So, for now, I'm charging the rock bottom price of just $50 for a 30 minute coaching consultation, or $100 for a full 60 minutes."

CLICK HERE to book a 30 minute coaching consultation.

CLICK HERE to book a 60 minute coaching consultation

How much is that when you focus on the weeks and months by which it will shorten your learning curve get rid of the pain and the obsession about an abusive partner and jump start your enjoyment of life?

If you don't take action now, your life won't change. But if you do, just 2 or 3 months from now, you can be that woman saying: "It's amazing. I've come so far and I feel so much better."

Your recovery can be fast, easy and joyful.

Is that something that you want for yourself?

Because if it is, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

So book your first consultation NOW!

BUY THE E-BOOK

"This is the most valuable recovery tool I have used. I am beginning to believe recovery is possible. Thanks." KAF

When I finally ended my marriage, the question that obsessed me was: “How do I heal from this?” After 20+ years in an abusive marriage, I'd had it with struggling with despair, sorrow, anger and pain. I wanted a life worth living.

I wanted to be emotionally whole and healthy. But I didn’t know where to start. So I did everything I could. I tried psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, group counselling. I read about abuse and talked about abuse. It all helped and I’m grateful to everyone and everything that helped move me along.

The knowledge I acquired was valuable, no doubt about it. But the one thing that enabled me to make the shift out of that dark world of fear and desperation was learning to believe in me again. The more I started to value and respect myself, the easier it became to move on.

Learning how you can rebuild your confidence and faith in yourself is the most healing journey you can possibly take. Your world starts to change the moment the moment your feelings about yourself start to change.

The more you value yourself, the more others will value you. My ebook will show you how to do that.

Everything I know about how to make that journey into healing and happiness has gone into my ebook “The Woman You Want To Be”.

It’s not a “quick fix”. When you are at rock bottom, there is no such thing as a "quick fix". What it is, is a structured programme that will guide you back to your inner joy, your gifts and a strong sense of your unique worth. It's not a "quick fix", but most women start to feel stronger and more positive within weeks.

Over the course of nearly a year, “The Woman You Want To Be” will guide you out of your limiting, negative thinking and into a new perspective on yourself and your world. You'll learn how you can access your strengths, your trust in yourself and your joy so that you won't have to live any more amid the rubble of broken dreams. Instead you can build the world for yourself in which you can enjoy happiness, true connection with others and thesuccess you want for yourself.

This 10 step workbook is a vital resource for women who want to discover their true potential in all areas of their life. It will teach you how you can believe in and value yourself as never before.

To purchase Annie’s ebook, go to: www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com

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