Emotional Abuse Recovery NOW
Are You an Emotionally Abused Woman Who Is SICK and TIRED
of the Misery of an
Are you READY
to start your emotional
abuse recovery NOW?
How long will you settle for crumbs?
I’ve been working with a woman who can neither give up her abusive partner nor be with him.
She can’t be with him because she can no longer blind herself to the fatal flaws in the relationship. But she can’t let him go because of the good moments they share together every so often.
She still fails to see the mechanism at work there, that the good moments are the bait on his hook that keeps her biting.
Perhaps she fails to see that because she cannot bear to confront her own motivation. She needs to believe that those good moments are a taster of all that she can still have with this man, if she just tries a little harder and makes a few more sacrifices.
Even, or maybe I should say especially, she is tiring of her own stubbornness. Yet she cannot let go.
Because at bottom she doesn’t believe she deserve any better. Therefore she does not expect any better.
We always attract into our life the minimum that we are prepared to settle for.
There’s a distinction here between what we may say we expect and what we truly feel we are entitled to. Abused women feel they are entitled to so very little. They settle for crumbs from the banquet of life. Quite possibly because they don’t believe that there is a banquet of life.
An abused woman who is still emotionally enmeshed with her partner will always say that (in between smashing her self-esteem to pieces) he offers her the best thing she has ever had.
I would, of course, dispute that. Can someone who is capable of, and usually practises, emotional – and/or physical – brutality, be truly loving from time to time? My belief is that he cannot. I would argue that he can manage, at best, a passable imitation, for a short while anyway. But his heart is not programmed for loving.
The real issue is this: why settle for so little of what you want, need and deserve?
My intended next line was going to be that an abused woman’s sights are set so low…
And then I remembered.
We all make sense of the world the best way we can. After a while in an abusive relationship it’s not simply that you expect no better. You actually forget that there can be better.
You reach the point of thinking that everybody’s relationship is, essentially, abusive - like yours.
The theoretical explanation - if you want one – goes like this. We all understand the world from our own points of reference. So after you have been in an abusive relationship for a while, and you get to know that there will be bad times and punishments for every small ‘failing’ on your part, that becomes your normality.
From there to believing that it is everyone’s normality is a small step.
It is, if you like, the final defence, this belief that wretched as my relationship might be, it is, at bottom, qualitatively not that different from anybody else’s relationship. Maybe this is the final ploy for making extreme misery more bearable.
I remember now that I made that step without even being aware of it. I recall that I would look at other women who, say, teased their partner in public, or expressed their own opinion (rather than echoing his) and I felt sad and afraid for them. I felt that way because I knew – or thought I did – that what would have happened in my relationship must happen in theirs also. I simply could not understand how it could possibly be otherwise for them.
When I was speaking to my client, I said to her that her abusive partner gave her crumbs and the day will come when she will find a square meal waiting for her at another address.
She didn’t believe me. She couldn’t.
She couldn’t see beyond her abusive ‘map of the world’.
And what a sad map it is. I speak as someone who navigated the world by that map for years and years. Then, happily, as my healing progressed, I completely forgot about it.
So how does she change the belief that she has to settle for crumbs? How do you change that belief?
Start by believing
that there is a banquet out there. Dare to believe that there is a
banquet and you will want to partake of it.
NOW 1-2-1 Telephone Coaching With Annie
You don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to get your head together when you’ve been in an abusive relationship. Like me, you've been there. You know. Like me, you know what time can and cannot do. You know, by now, that your demons, and his, are always there, waiting for you in the shadows.
Some days you feel motivated to keep going and other days you’d be happy to give up and settle for a single crumb of affection from him.
You can waste months and years going through the same old pattern of hope and despair; as if you hadn’t wasted enough time on him already.
That’s when telephone coaching can really help.
Imagine having someone at the other end of the phone who:
“That’s all well and good, but I can’t commit to any long, slow process, Annie.”
Coaching is quick and effective.
Coaching will stop you going round and round the same old loop and start thinking constructively so you can feel good about yourself and your life.
You know how you stopped believing in Father Christmas once you were told he didn’t exist?
Well, once you have been told who your abusive partner really is, you won’t be able to believe all the lies he told you any more. Which will leave you free to put the pieces of your life back together again.
So you can get your life back, only much, much better.
Because everybody has different learning styles, Annie offers 30 minute and 60 minute telephone consultations at reasonable rates.
Whether you have 1 consultation or several is entirely up to you, but expect coaching to make a big difference.
Secure your first consultation NOW.
Get the support you need to change your life NOW.
“What will it cost me, Annie?”
"I could easily have charged $300 for an hour of my time. I usually do. But I wanted to make this service accessible to as many women as possible. So, for now, I'm charging the rock bottom price of just $50 for a 30 minute coaching consultation, or $100 for a full 60 minutes."
CLICK HERE to book a 30 minute coaching consultation.
CLICK HERE to book a 60 minute coaching consultation
How much is that when you focus on the weeks and months by which it will shorten your learning curve get rid of the pain and the obsession about an abusive partner and jump start your enjoyment of life?
If you don't take action now, your life won't change. But if you do, just 2 or 3 months from now, you can be that woman saying: "It's amazing. I've come so far and I feel so much better."
Your recovery can be fast, easy and joyful.
Is that something that you want for yourself?
Because if it is, I'm really looking forward to working with you.
So book your first consultation NOW!
The more you value yourself, the more
others will value you. My ebook will show you how to do that.
It’s not a “quick
fix”. When you are at rock bottom, there is no such thing as a
"quick fix". What it is, is a structured programme that will guide
you back to your
inner joy, your gifts and a strong sense of your unique worth.
It's not a "quick fix", but most women start to feel stronger and
more positive within weeks.
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