Emotional Abuse Recovery NOW

"Broken Wing"

Today I had the feeling that I must have been living on the moon for the last little while.

Why?

Because I finally discovered Martina McBride’s “Broken Wing”. For anyone else who has been living on the moon, CLICK HERE to hear it. The lyrics left me absolutely speechless. What a perfect way to sum up the reality of living in an abusive relationship:

“She loved him like he was
The last man on Earth
Gave him everything she ever had
He'd break her spirit down
Then come lovin' up on her
Give a little then take it back

She'd tell him 'bout her dreams
He'd just shoot 'em down
Lord he loved to make her cry…”

Sure, the video is a little sanitized; the big house, the glossy lifestyle (down to the ‘designer lettuce’), the violence just implied. But anyone who has been there can easily flesh out that outline!

So why is it so important to me right now?

Because of my own healing journey. Yes, that is exactly the way it was, although I could never have conveyed the essence so powerfully and economically. Like the women I work with, I’ve had to work through the various stopping places along that journey.

First, you have to understand that the treatment you have received has been deliberate. It really was designed to ‘break your spirit down’, break your wings and make you emotionally dependent on your captor. Boy, does it work! (Not a week goes by that a number of women don’t email me to tell me they can’t stop loving a man who treats them badly.)
So you learn that there are lots of dangerous men out there; dangerous men who can sense a vulnerable woman across half a county, and home in mercilessly on their prey.
You learn to keep well away from them (and, quite possibly, all men) while you rebuild your self-worth and keep yourself safe.
You learn to trust yourself, so that you can start to extend your trust, where appropriate, to other people.
You learn that people have to earn your trust, by behaving in a way that does not jar with your intuition. Anyone who has ever lived with an abuser knows that, if you listen to their words, they can persuade you that they have every right to cast the first stone, and as many others as they might feel like, at you. They will persuade you that night is day, and you are the worst person in the world while they are the best. This despite possible addictions, any number of behaviours that society condemns, being utterly two-faced, and treating you like dirt. (Your conscious mind can be persuaded to believe pretty much anything with enough brainwashing. Your intuition can be silenced, but it can never be persuaded. Intuition is not much given to repeating itself, so when it speaks, however softly, you would do well to trust it and listen.)

You learn, as you heal, that a lot of your fear is leftover fear. It relates to events in the past, and yet you carry it into the present.
You learn to trust yourself to bring your new knowledge, courage and self-worth to a new relationship. You come to trust that you will not dissolve into the small, terrified, hopeless puddle of a woman you once were. That is a pretty serious concern, and by the time you start to voice it, you have already put a lot of distance between you and that abused woman, or you could not even think that way. Still, it is a legitimate concern. Having been so profoundly disempowered, it is only sane to be wary of the possibility of ever allowing it to happen again.
You learn that X means X, not Y, or Z. Everyone learns to make sense of the world, for themselves, as children. As we well know, children are, in many ways, sadly defenceless and so they make it their business to learn fast. Swift learning is the best way to protect themselves from pain. So they generalize from a specific situation. Like my client who ‘learned’ that she was hopeless with numbers, because a math teacher had said that when she was 9. Abused women learn that men are dangerous, that intimacy is destructive. They still have a ‘map of the world’ in which all relationships are bound to be the same as an abusive relationship. Some women shy away from relationships, others rush into physical intimacy. Both tendencies are, I believe, attempts to avoid the risk of exposing their spirit to the vulnerability of intimacy.
You learn that good men, and good people, behave in caring ways. The time comes when you finally see the gulf that divides abusive men from good men, and abusive relationships from good relationships. Bad behaviours are most commonly the sign of a bad man and a bad relationship. At the very least, they are the sign of someone you would do well to steer clear of until such time as they have sorted out their own life.
You learn that if a man acts like a small child having a temper tantrum, he probably is a small child who has temper tantrums. That may be a job for ‘Supernanny’; it certainly isn’t a role for an equal partner.

You learn that, if abuse is a downward spiral, healing is an upward spiral.
You learn that true intimacy nurtures, it does not harm.

NOW 1-2-1 Telephone Coaching With Annie

“My counsellor has been telling me for months that I don’t listen to her. But when you say something, Annie, I hear it.” Mimi P.

You don’t need me to tell you how hard it is to get your head together when you’ve been in an abusive relationship. Like me, you've been there. You know. Like me, you know what time can and cannot do. You know, by now, that your demons, and his, are always there, waiting for you in the shadows.

Some days you feel motivated to keep going and other days you’d be happy to give up and settle for a single crumb of affection from him.

You can waste months and years going through the same old pattern of hope and despair; as if you hadn’t wasted enough time on him already.

That’s when telephone coaching can really help.

Imagine having someone at the other end of the phone who:

understands exactly what you are going through
is totally focused on your recovery
has successfully helped hundreds of women in your situation
believes totally in your ability to move on
knows from experience that, given the right support, it will be way easier than you think to heal your life
really cares about your present pain and future happiness

“That’s all well and good, but I can’t commit to any long, slow process, Annie.”

Coaching is quick and effective.

Coaching will stop you going round and round the same old loop and start thinking constructively so you can feel good about yourself and your life.

You know how you stopped believing in Father Christmas once you were told he didn’t exist?

Well, once you have been told who your abusive partner really is, you won’t be able to believe all the lies he told you any more. Which will leave you free to put the pieces of your life back together again.

So you can get your life back, only much, much better.

Because everybody has different learning styles, Annie offers 30 minute and 60 minute telephone consultations at reasonable rates.

Whether you have 1 consultation or several is entirely up to you, but expect coaching to make a big difference.

Secure your first consultation NOW.

Get the support you need to change your life NOW.

“What will it cost me, Annie?”

"I could easily have charged $300 for an hour of my time. I usually do. But I wanted to make this service accessible to as many women as possible. So, for now, I'm charging the rock bottom price of just $50 for a 30 minute coaching consultation, or $100 for a full 60 minutes."

CLICK HERE to book a 30 minute coaching consultation.

CLICK HERE to book a 60 minute coaching consultation

How much is that when you focus on the weeks and months by which it will shorten your learning curve get rid of the pain and the obsession about an abusive partner and jump start your enjoyment of life?

If you don't take action now, your life won't change. But if you do, just 2 or 3 months from now, you can be that woman saying: "It's amazing. I've come so far and I feel so much better."

Your recovery can be fast, easy and joyful.

Is that something that you want for yourself?

Because if it is, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

So book your first consultation NOW!

BUY THE E-BOOK

"This is the most valuable recovery tool I have used. I am beginning to believe recovery is possible. Thanks." KAF

When I finally ended my marriage, the question that obsessed me was: “How do I heal from this?” After 20+ years in an abusive marriage, I'd had it with struggling with despair, sorrow, anger and pain. I wanted a life worth living.

I wanted to be emotionally whole and healthy. But I didn’t know where to start. So I did everything I could. I tried psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, group counselling. I read about abuse and talked about abuse. It all helped and I’m grateful to everyone and everything that helped move me along.

The knowledge I acquired was valuable, no doubt about it. But the one thing that enabled me to make the shift out of that dark world of fear and desperation was learning to believe in me again. The more I started to value and respect myself, the easier it became to move on.

Learning how you can rebuild your confidence and faith in yourself is the most healing journey you can possibly take. Your world starts to change the moment the moment your feelings about yourself start to change.

The more you value yourself, the more others will value you. My ebook will show you how to do that.

Everything I know about how to make that journey into healing and happiness has gone into my ebook “The Woman You Want To Be”.

It’s not a “quick fix”. When you are at rock bottom, there is no such thing as a "quick fix". What it is, is a structured programme that will guide you back to your inner joy, your gifts and a strong sense of your unique worth. It's not a "quick fix", but most women start to feel stronger and more positive within weeks.

Over the course of nearly a year, “The Woman You Want To Be” will guide you out of your limiting, negative thinking and into a new perspective on yourself and your world. You'll learn how you can access your strengths, your trust in yourself and your joy so that you won't have to live any more amid the rubble of broken dreams. Instead you can build the world for yourself in which you can enjoy happiness, true connection with others and thesuccess you want for yourself.

This 10 step workbook is a vital resource for women who want to discover their true potential in all areas of their life. It will teach you how you can believe in and value yourself as never before.

To purchase Annie’s ebook, go to: www.EmotionalAbuseRecoveryNow.com

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